Disclaimer: we recognize that religious humor can be a risky venture; however, it is our hope that by laughing at ourselves we can make the subject of religion or spirituality more approachable.

• Have you heard the latest UU miracle? Someone saw the face of Ralph Waldo Emerson on a tortilla.

• A man goes to a Unitarian Universalist service for the first time, and later is asked what he thought of it. "Darndest church I ever went to," he replies, "the only time I heard the name of Jesus Christ was when the janitor fell down the stairs."

• A student went to his meditation teacher and said, "My meditation is horrible! I feel so distracted, or my legs ache, or I'm constantly falling asleep. It's just horrible!"
  
  "It will pass," the teacher said matter-of-factly.A week later, the student came back to his teacher. "My meditation is wonderful! I feel so aware, so peaceful, so alive! It's just wonderful!"
  
  "It will pass," the teacher replied matter-of-factly.

• A rabbi, a Unitarian Universalist minister, and a Wiccan priestess decided to go on a fishing trip together. They went down to their local lake, rented a boat, and went out on to the lake for a day of fishing. As the afternoon approached, the trio got hungry—and realized that they left their lunches on the shore of the lake.
  
  The UU minister got out of the boat, walked across the lake, got his lunch, walked back, and sat down to eat his lunch.
  
  "You should have gotten all of our lunches!" scolded the priestess. She then got up, walked across the lake, picked up her lunch as well as the rabbi's, walked back across the lake, and sat down, handing the rabbi his afternoon meal.
  
  The rabbi at this point is almost out of his mind, his eyes wide with shock. He manages to sputter, "Wha... what... how did you...?"The minister grins at the priestess, nudges her, and asks "Do you think we should tell him about the rocks?"
  
  The priestess looks at the minister, raises an eyebrow, and replies "What rocks?"

• The White Bear Lake, MN UU congregation used to sell a bumper sticker: It's easier to be born again that it is to grow up!

• How many Unitarians does it take to change a light bulb? 
  Punchline: There is no fixed number but the committee must have a quorum.

• How many UU's does it take to change a light bulb?
  Punchline: Hard to say. Let's discuss it over coffee.

• Arguing with a Unitarian Universalist is like mud wrestling a pig. Pretty soon you realize the pig likes it.

• Why did the Unitarian-Universalist cross the road?
  Punchline: A: To support the chicken in its search for its own path

• Unitarian Universalism – Where all your answers are questioned.

• What is a Unitarian Universalist?
  Punchline: Someone who believes in life before death.

• A UU family moves into a new neighborhood. Their little girl finds a new playmate, and they are happily getting to know each other. One day, the playmate says, "We're Episcopalians, what are you?" The UU child thinks for a minute and says, "I'm not sure, but I think we're League of Women Voters."

• Asked if he belonged to any organized religion, the man responded, "Oh no; I'm a Unitarian Universalist."

• Why are most UUs bad at singing hymns? Because they are reading ahead to see if they agree with the next line.

• UUs address prayers, "To whom it may concern."

• Why don't many UUs go to church during the summer?
  Punchline: God trusts them.

• The only thing a UU can't tolerate is intolerance.

• Three religious persons are discussing when life begins. The Catholic says: Life begins at the moment of conception. The Jew says: Life begins at the moment of birth. The Unitarian says: You're both wrong. Life begins when the last child goes to college and the dog dies.

• It is show-and-tell day at school, and all the children are requested to bring in an item which illustrates their religious beliefs. David stands up and says "This is a star of David and I am a Jew". Dorothy stands up and says "This is a crucifix and I am a Catholic". Jimmy stands up and says "This is a coffeepot and I am a Unitarian".

• Three children were talking about their religions. "I'm a Catholic," said one, "And our symbol is the cross."  "I'm Jewish," said the second, "And our symbol is the Star of David."  The third child said, "I'm a Unitarian Universalist and our symbol is a candle in a martini glass!"

• A Unitarian Universalist comes to a fork in the road. The sign pointing right says, "To Heaven." The sign pointing left says, "To a discussion about Heaven." The UU will invariably head left!

• You May Be A Unitarian Universalist If...

  • you think socks are too formal for a Summer service.
  • even your goldfish gets to vote on family TV viewing choices.
  • you consider Charlie Brown & Dilbert to be spiritual leaders.
  • you know at least 5 ways to say Happy holidays!
  • if when you watch Jaws you root for the shark. ("Hey, sharks have to eat too!")
  • you consider Groucho, Harpo & Chico to be the "Holy Trinity."
  • the "X-Files" is a regular source of your church's sermons.
  • you think "Whatever" is a valid theological point.

UUism is a creedless religion -- our deeds speak louder than our words -- and so it may be easier to understand UUism as a living faith by noting the famous individuals who have been associated with UUism.